My father is still never able to let go of his ex-wife from 35 years ago.
Now she’s gone, but he is still holding strong anger towards her.
And I have been holding strong anger towards my dad for nearly 30 years.
We all really need to let go, and live life.
When I slow down with my own strength, 37.2 Trillion cells in my body finally slow down and relax.
Letting go is still (very) hard for me.
30 over years of habit can’t easily go away in few years. I might need to practice another 30 years (or more) to undo old habits and re-create new one.
Once I decide to let go (again) of the thought- “I want to see the change right now”-, finally I start to see the blue sky behind the dark cloud….again. I do this everyday for one reason- to be happy.
We all come to this life only once, and we have choice to make it good or not good. Simple but hard to follow up.
Falling, getting up, falling, getting up, falling, getting up, falling deep again…
The old self never goes away, no matter what, it will be still there. But as we practice new habit, it goes right beside our old habit. From there it’s all up to us, which one we want to strengthen, which one we want it to grow more than the other one…. like our muscles in our body. If we use them they grow, we don’t use them, they go smaller.
That’s why we call yoga practice, not yoga learning.
There’s no ending, just keep going and one day, we become whatever we practice.
Practicing yoga helps me to make space inside of me so that I can feel things, feel gratitude. The warm sun light, the clean water to drink, lots of clothes to wear, house to live, food to eat…
These things I never learned from school, my parents never taught me to sit down still and find myself feeling grateful for small little things in my life, but also, they never learned that either. So the cycle goes on and on.
Practicing yoga is letting go, getting out of my head and getting into our own body, relearn to feel.
As I let go and practice, my mind starts to shift, my heart opens, and I am finally get ready for another day. Not an extension of yesterday.
Yoga teacher Iyengar said ” The highest point of yesterday should be the lowest point of today.”
Today I am hoping to let go little more than yesterday so I can live/ feel my life, and hope my little daughter can learn the real life from me.
When you focus on your breath, your mind becomes quiet, when your mind becomes quiet, you’ll find whole new world with endless possibilities, and that new world is yoga ….for me.
저 깊은 끝에서 어딘가 있는 내자신.
Practicing yoga allows us to feel our life. We often tend to live our life chasing for the goal, and thinking “If we get there, we will be happy” … but our life is very much happening right now. These small nameless moments ARE our life, constantly happening while we are wasting our time on thinking of “unknown future”
So let’s practice on living today. Give that extra love to whoever there with you. Because our life is limited, and no one knows what will happen tomorrow.
Happy July 4th!
…..I was listening, but I couldn’t hear, I couldn’t feel. I didn’t know how to feel, I never tried to feel… it’s time to unlearn bad habits and relearn.
들어도 듣지못하고 인생의 반을 살았다. 가장 힘든 연습 중에 하나.